He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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