you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
