dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
