I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
