u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
