Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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