I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
