Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
