So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize