Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
