I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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