I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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