Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
