okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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