I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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