let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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