sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
