Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
