Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
