dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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