Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
