I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
