I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
