As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
