Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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