Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
