I'm lost and stupid without you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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