Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
