I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
