dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
