During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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