I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
They have beer where we have blood.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
