any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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