oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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