is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
