The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
