i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
