Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
