is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
