Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
wow bdsm is so cute
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had to cum in my sink.
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