This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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