Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
North Korea, Best Korea!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize