She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
