Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
