at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
