my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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