i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
