Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
