i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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