i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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