Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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