I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
