i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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