Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
