I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
