please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
