i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
