Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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