Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
