Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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